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Monday, October 30, 2006

Falling Through the Cracks (episode 1)

911 Operator: State the nature of your emergency.

Caller: Yeah. I’m a teacher at Brown Middle School and one of my students…. Oh my god. . .Oh my god!

911 Operator: Calm down sir. I need to know what is happening.

Caller: Okay, I’m okay, but one of my students, he, he, fell through the cracks.

911 Operator: What kind of crack sir?

Caller: You know. The cracks. THE CRACKS

911 Operator: Do you have a safety net sir?

Caller: Yes several of them, but he, he missed them all. Every single one of them. I mean we did everything we could.

911 Operator: Where is the student now?

Caller: In the crack. Haven’t you been listening. He is in the crack. I can hear him yelling for help, but I can’t see him. Oh my god! What am I going to do.

911 Operator: Sir I’ve dispatched an emergency team. They have a battery of standardized tests. It is pretty high stakes, but I think we can handle this.

Caller: I gotta go. You think I pushed him, don’t you? You’re going to test him, and blame me.

911 Operator: Sir come back sir. Sir? Hello?

Through the Crack
Episode 1
Crack an Egg

Theme Song sung to the tune of Gilligan’s Island

Eddie was late to school that day.
He never was on time.
He’d rather skip school and play,
than waste the taxpayer’s dime

The hallway started to rock and shake.
The fluorescent lights did dim.
He knew he had a test to take,
But he was even failing gym.

The corrider cracked open wide,
and Eddie teetered and tripped
Many teachers tried and tried,
but he finally slipped.

Down through the crack Eddie fell
to a world devoid of joy.
A minimum wage living hell
Where no one was employed.

This is the story of his journey back
through the crazy land he roamed.
He tries to climb out the crack,
and find his way back home.
and find his way back home.

"Crack an egg"

EXT. day

Eddie falls from the sky, landing on his back next to a stone wall. A middle-aged man is sitting a few feet away. He has a pronounced crack in his head. Eddie sits up. He appears to be unharmed.

Egg head man
Hey dude. What’s happenin’?
I’m not sure. I was just walkin’ down the hall and a crack in the floor opened up. I must have fallen in.
egg head
Yeah man. It hurts don’t it?
It smarts a little.
Egg head
Ain’t nothin’ smart around hear.
Where am I?
Egg head
Your in the Land Through The Crack man.
What crack?
Egg head
You know the THE crack! The one that all the teachers say you’re going to slip through. You’ve slipped through the cracks, man.
How did you get here?
Egg head
Man, I was watchin’ this commercial on t.v. about some egg on drugs. I was laughin’ because who ever heard of an egg takin’ drugs. I mean I smoke a little, but there ain’t no egg on drugs. Next thing I know they crack the egg, and I wind up here with a splitting headache.
cut to:
Close up of the crack in EGG HEAD’S head.
I got to find a way outta here.
Egg head
Ain’t know way outta here.
How do you know? Have you looked?
Egg Head
Nah. I haven’t moved since I got here. All the schools teachers and all the schools counselors tried to put me back together and again, but they couldn’t. So I’m just chillin’
What about that guy over there?
cut to:
Another middle aged guy rocking back and forth mumbling to himself.
Egg head
Him? All he say is no. He used to say yes, but now, now he just says no.
Yo Humpty, I can’t just hang here. I gotta do something.
Egg head
Good luck man.
Eddie gets up and starts walking aimlessly. He finally settles on what he believes is East and begins his journey.

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