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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Recent Study Finds Link Between Work and Success

At a press conference today educational researchers released the results of a decade long study looking at the link between turning in work and high GPA. The study took into account every variable and was able to isolate the effect of turning in work.

Lead researcher Dr. Obvious told reporters, "A lot of students thought we were crazy. They would point to the fact that the teacher hated them or that they were racist. We took that into account. And with the help of a relatively simple questionaire we were also able to determine if the teachers just made up the grades."

Students were pessimistic about the results and cautioned that the study only found a link and it has yet to establish causality. Mya Effingrade commented while stuffing stacks of unused spiral notebooks in her locker, "I mean you gotta be trippin'. Like for real, I think that those lames with good grades are just sucking up and turning in work. To me in my opinion I think that if I turned in work it wouldn't do no good."

Researchers hope that their findings will have an immediate impact in the classroom. They are optimistic that once students learn of this link they will exploit it.

One local district has already promised several days of professional development for their teachers so that they may more effectively get the word out.

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